If Jack’s childhood dream to be a stock market trader has been re-adopted by Lulu, where does that leave Delphine and I? Will she want to be a writer like I wanted to be??

If she did, it would be so completely awesome that I would not know what to do. Probably self-mutilate. Cry and eat my own eyeballs at the same time. Something like that. The truth is however: A. I don’t really want to eat my eyeballs and B. Delphine might write but it won’t be in the same way that I did. Written words aren’t really her thing. Don’t get me wrong; she is one of the wittiest people I’ve had the pleasure to know… but ask her to write any of these words down? Hahahaha.. you better be patient.. and while you’re waiting, you could try persuading that cat to get into the bath.

It seems Delphine’s mind just isn’t wired this way. But she has to learn to read and write. Right? Tell me. Because I do wonder.

We had a meeting at the secondary school before we went away on Quest in February. A group of teachers, education staff, me and Delphine. Delph and I listened. They were quite convincing that Delphine would be well-cared for at school. I know it’s partly due to the fact that Delphine has a special needs educational statement. She’s been in possession of it since she was three-years old. I didn’t think much until Linda pointed out its beneficial boost of funding for the school. Delph’s statement means she’s guaranteed a learning support assistant. Although they are designed to help the pupil, the assistant usually ends up helping a number of children in the class. That’s what happened with Delph anyway when she was in primary school. Her assistants ended up helping other kids who weren’t officially required to have help. So who does the assistant really benefit; Delph or the school?

Why I am talking about this? I can’t really remember. It just sort of came out. A good old blog’s cathartics for you.

Anyhow, after this offer of the school’s help, we ummed and ahhed for months. Eventually we decided to try the same route as Lulu’s education: InterHigh.

Cue Linda. ‘Will InterHigh make an individual plan for Delphine?’ she asked in her kitchen.

‘I don’t know,’ I admitted.

‘Will it be above her level?’

Another I don’t know.

Linda raised her eyebrows. ‘Will you help her with it?’

That was easy. ‘Of course I will.’

And since school started in September, I have. I’ve been helping Delphine with InterHigh. The truth is that so far, it is above her level. Another truth; the school doesn’t help her. They are aware of her statement of special educational needs but they don’t have an individual plan for her. The third truth is that, compared to the home school Delphine and I did together, it’s been a full-on experience. Exhausting even. By the time the day finishes, I have to make choices with my time… I can either exercise or write. It’s a good thing that cellulite hides itself inside my jeans. I might write gobbledygook, but I am plugging away. And wobbling.