It’s 3am and I am on the eve of a busy-ass day. My brain is telling me it’d be useful to sleep right now.

Jack and Lulu are going to Egypt today. They planned it ages ago, before Christmas. A diving expedition. One week away to Hurghada, staying at the Hilton- at amazingly good value. Still, even so, me and Delph passed. We’ve been twice to Egypt before we went off on Quest and the diving for us is definitely the best thing there. We wouldn’t dive this time – Delph isn’t quite there yet – so the alternative of laying around in the sun? We found that it’s pretty cold in February. And lying around.. hmmm. To be honest, we canned the idea right at the start.

Jack and Lulu will have more fun together without us anyhow. They’ve booked to go diving almost every day. As long as they don’t bicker (typically over some form of mealtime) and get locked in the Egyptian slammer. Luckily they’ve mellowed down in that area since Lu’s been going to school – thank the good Lord. Speaking of school – we wrote to the school the day Lulu started in January to inform them of the trip. Apologised since we’d booked it when she had the flexibility of internet school. We heard nothing back.

Shall I leave it, I thought? Finally on Friday I caved in and called. ‘Yes, we know,’ I was told by the Head of Year 9. ‘No, we can’t grant official permission.’ With this, the teacher let out a slightly stressed sigh. ‘Have a good time.’ I got the feeling she was waiting to put a kid in a safety headlock until the parents came. After that; three expulsions and finally an anti-social behavioural order. Our unauthorised holiday must have been like an annoying fly buzzing around for her.

We drove down to London yesterday. Jack and Lu have to wake up in an hour and, in my mum’s chauffeuring hands, they’ll head off to Heathrow Termimal 5 to catch a connecting coach to Gatwick. Flight’s due to depart before 10am. Suitcases are ready at the side of the bed. My mum is sleeping downstairs on the couch. Please don’t let them forget anything. Especially if it’s my fault for forgetting.

I didn’t pay a lot of attention when I was packing their bags, truth be told. Usually I’m the bomb at it (humble opinion not necessary having packed too many times for humility) but this time, I wasn’t on it so hard. Oh well. They have cozzies. And anti-diarrhoea tablets. Last time we went to Egypt, Lulu puked all the way back on the plane. It lay in a big, steaming mound by her feet. Good times. This time hopefully it’ll be all hammerheads and tiger sharks – large pelagics who are also polite enough to keep their distance.

And me and Delph? We’ve got London dance class to get to today. Candoco Dance Company here we come. This means a round trip to Greenwich via the science museum – since we (read I) rashly told Carol, Delph’s science teacher last week that we were thinking of going.

‘Ohh, take photos and I’ll show them in class next week,’ she said.

’Ok, sure,’ we replied. Sorry Delph. Me and my big mouth. 36 minutes and the day starts.