I’m running late today… and because a lot of things have happened in the last twenty-four hours, I could tell you a number of things.
I could write how John from Cardiff left without saying goodbye. Rude. But then, not sure if John from Cardiff saw Jack and I exchanging words (cough, blows) on Quest’s bow yesterday. That might explain why he left without saying goodbye. But, like Ellie says, John is on his own. Easy for him. If he wanted to argue with someone, he could just argue with himself.
I could write about therapist Esther Perel and her thoughts about couples’ therapy. I love Esther Perel. She is the protector, the guardian angel of couple-dom. Her work is complex because, as she says, couples don’t get a break in the therapy world. Single people talk. Couples don’t talk – to anyone. It’s the famous question – who knows what goes on behind closed doors?
Well, for us a brawl on the front of Questie… but I don’t really want to concentrate on that bit. Out on the bow, everyone knows what goes on behind our closed doors.
I like the bit about identity. Esther Perel reminds us that choosing and being with someone is as much about claiming your identity as the other person’s. How attractive you find them is tied up with how attractive you find yourself in their company. These elements are impossible to separate.
And of course, this can go wrong. This isn’t who I really am!’ we can cry to ourselves. Meaning ‘I don’t like this person,’ actually translates as, ‘I don’t like myself when I’m with this person.’
Anyhow, there’s more to talk about. Like Lulu says, ‘You really think you guys are going to change after 22 years together? Let’s face it. Maybe after the first few months, but not now.’ A bittersweet moment when the teenager full of her own wonderful hormones has the best wisdom.
Still, I never promised this blog would be all fun and games. Our life living on a fifty-foot boat is often about sacrifice. Sacrificing things back home. Easy land-living. Being with our dog, Fin. Ease of work. Home.
Being in a paradise island like Barbados can make it feel worse sometimes. The pressure to enjoy every single moment here. You should be enjoying every moment! Ok, ok. We get it. But we’re only human. And humans all have shit days. Some humans have shit years. Even the odd decade. Hold on though. What about that concept about living your best life? Well, that’s just shit.
I do want to write about the huge turtle we saw snorkelling at the marine park this morning in Carlisle Bay. Table-sized. And how Delph and I went to Cave Shepherd department store in Bridgetown and found so many fantastic books. That Delphine’s love of books now is our 12 year-old miracle. For now, I think I’ll concentrate on the shit part though. Makes me feel more human.