Cloud Watch – With Camels

One last time from Mr. MacNeice. Or maybe not. I’m in love with this poem!

The camels 🐪 crossed the miles of sand

That stretched around the cups and plates;

The desert was their own, they planned

To portion out the stars and dates:

The camels crossed the miles of sand.

– Louis MacNeice, Meeting Point

We’re up now, back up in the air. It makes me wonder: what now? What next?

We’re still floating on Quest, in the most beautiful bay in northern Barbados. This morning, Delphine went diving with Jack in the shallow waters by the yacht club. Those two came back grinning.

‘Awesome,’ was how they described it. They told us about peacock flounders decorated with light blue rings sheltering in the sand. Schools of blue Caribbean tang swimming around them. Long-nosed ballyhoos streaking above.

I watched both carefully as they spoke. It seems a veil of bliss has fallen over us. To be honest, I’m a little scared of it. Well, I would be. Like my mum says, ‘You’re conditioned.’ She’s right. She’s pretty smart about these things – and she’s merciless with her findings. I am conditioned.

It’s the getting used to the way things are. You fight for what you want but, over time, the struggle itself becomes the goal. Sometimes, when we achieve what we’ve fought for – it’s already gone. As far away as it always was. We’re still caught in the fighting for it.

I need to lay my conditioning down. I don’t want to cook dinner, clean up, do school or look after anyone tonight. I want to lie here and feel Questie sway gently on her anchor. I’m watching at the clouds passing by. It’s late in the afternoon. The clouds are slowly turning pink.

We have spent so long getting to this point. To try and live an adventurous life, despite the challenges we’ve faced getting here. The challenges we’ve had since being here. Suddenly we are here – we’re really here. Everyone is happy. So, the question is: what next? Do we keep going? Or do we tick the box as complete and come home to start new adventures?

I don’t know – not yet anyhow. I guess the one certain thing is that nothing stays the same. Nothing. Things will always change. For this very moment, I just don’t want them to. We worked so hard to get here. Suddenly, the work is the thing I can let go of. What’s left in this space?

Love. It’s always love.

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