It’s strange to read that although the ocean makes up 70% of the surface of the planet, it also forms 99% of the Earth’s habitable space.

I’m not very good with numbers. Pie charts too. They always look enticing, but I tend to get caught in them like snagging the spokes of a wheel. And I’m supposed to train as a biology teacher starting in September. Aber Uni offered me a place.

So, it’s a little exciting. Ironically, the lockdown conditions made it easier to move through this process. I’m not sure Aber Uni would have conducted online interviews in normal times. Perhaps travel will still be ‘need to go’ even after the pandemic subsides, as we seem to have mastered the online call. Please let some things change for the better.

So, the maths part of teaching may be a bit challenging for me. Some scratch the head moments on the way I’m sure – probably in front of other people. Thirty kids watching whilst I try not to panic. At least I’ll have the answers. Hopefully.

For a while, I’ve been listening to the girls’ biology teachers speak numeracy. They breeze right through the maths like it’s a refreshing day sail. I imagine I’ll need to practise it beforehand, like a night passage. Dark as ink with no moon and a squall in the middle.

At least I can’t wait to bore everyone with the biology. Like how the male sperm whale, the solitary bull, has the largest nose in the animal kingdom. And how said nasal cavity never stops growing. Every kid has a right to know this! Hehe.

How come? Well, the bulls have to find the female whales. And because the ocean takes up so much room… wait. I may have just figured it out the 99% thing. Is habitable space referring to dimensionality and not just surface space? Aha.

The sperm whales definitely need to work with huge distances. Enter their clicks, through a pair of phonic lips situated at the upper front of their head. Not so much a click actually, as a boom. They make the loudest biological sound on the planet. Boom.

A sperm whale’s nasal cavity is like an empty theatre, so there’s a reverb. The enormous sound makes a ‘Boom… boom… boom!’ as it hits the sides of the cavity. And the longer the gap in between booms, the larger the cavity. The larger the bull sperm whale.

This means the female whale can work out the size of her potential mate – and his desirability. Sperm whales like to go large. The bigger the male, the more sexually successful he tends to be. I might play this bit down in front of the teenagers – you know, cause small is beautiful too. At least the female whale is still thousands of miles away. For now.