I blogged a lot last year about my stress of homeschooling. Especially in regards to the special needs of Delphine. I’ve learnt that teaching a kid with special needs is an exercise in letting go. Expectations, milestones. I wonder too if some of this stress was from my own experience at school. I didn’t not enjoy school but I often disliked the teachers. I don’t know why! Hold on.. what would my mum say about this? Inferiority complex. Oh yeah. Thanks Ma.
Therefore teaching has been strange for me. Not how I expected it to be. Plus I have a dilemma within the world of homeschool. I didn’t homeschool to escape from the pressures of society. I myself was a product of the world-wide sausage making factory that is modern-day school. And my feeling is it’s not that bad. If you can focus. Keep your head down. Wait till your sausage is complete and tasty. Ready for work to eat you up. Like my mum would say: ‘Yammi’. Take the Pole out of Poland – and you should hear her say sofa. Sawffaa. She’s the best.
Christmas is well and truly over. Today was the day to start working with Delphine again. Honestly? My toes curled up. I wanted to bolt. I could see myself running away, screaming muppet-style down the beach. Let’s face it: Delph hates it: I hate it. Since we haven’t done school for a few weeks, we’ve hit a hatred stalemate. But you think I can let it go?
I read today about my astrological chart. I do have a sneaky interest in the occult. I found this website that thoroughly details your personality by the combination of sun and moon sign. Turns out I’m a Gemini with a Scorpio moon. Confident, bold and aggressive at times. A great leader if they don’t get swayed by others. But they hardly finish anything they start. Even though they don’t like to let go. Cue more face banging on the keyboard.
Ok. Calm down. It’s time to remember – what do you want to achieve? Is it happiness? Success? Discipline? Well, yes, yes and definitely yes. So how do I achieve these things? If I’m not going to run away screaming at full pelt. Deep breath. Sucks being an adult.
In order to achieve happiness, success and discipline, this year I will:
1. Draw on Delph’s strengths.
2. Help her to be confident.
3. Let go of the worry of Delphine being able to read properly or ever being able to tell the time. Like ever.
4. Not get stressed with her if she can’t. Hardest part so far.
5. Laugh. Laugh a lot. Much, much easier if last point on list is complete.
So there it is. A new year, a new start. Delph can be anything she wants to be. The fact that she doesn’t seem to want to be anything but to play and watch tv? Not my bag. I can only go forward. One foot in front of the other. Run away screaming? No, crap, not that!
Come on beautiful Delph. Let’s be sausages.